Back-to-School Anxiety: Helping Kids 

Start the School Year with Confidence 

As a counselor who works with children regularly, I know that the weeks leading up 

to a new school year can bring a mix of excitement and worry. Some children are 

eager to see their friends and get back to school, while others may feel nervous 

about teachers, schoolwork, friendships, or being away from their parents. A little 

nervousness is to be expected, especially when children are getting ready for a 

change. The good news is that there are simple things families can do to help 

make the transition a little easier. 

Get Back Into a Routine 

Summer can typically mean later bedtimes, sleeping in, and less structure. That is 

part of what makes summer fun. Going from that routine to a full school day can 

be a big adjustment. A few weeks before school starts, begin moving bedtime and 

wakeup times closer to the school schedule. Also, try getting back to regular meal 

times and practicing the morning routine. For younger children, having a simple 

visual schedule can help them know what comes next (a picture based guide that 

shows them what they are going to do in what order). Additionally, practicing the 

routine a few times before the first day can make the morning feel more familiar. 

Talk About What School Will Be Like 

Take some time to talk with your child about what they can expect when school 

starts. This can include talking about their teacher, classroom, transportation, 

lunch, recess, homework, and what they will do after school. If your child is 

worried, try not to respond with, "Don't worry. Everything will be fine." While that 

comes from a good place, it doesn't always help a child feel understood. Instead, 

try asking, "What part of going back to school are you worried about?" Once you 

know what is bothering them, you can work together to come up with a plan. 

Help Them Focus on What They Can Control 

Children can become overwhelmed when they think about everything that could 

go wrong. Helping them focus on the things they can control can make a big 

difference. Children can pick out their clothes the night before, pack their 

backpack, or decide what they want to have for breakfast. They can also practice 

what they might say if they need help from their teacher. Sometimes a big worry 

feels much more manageable when it is broken down into smaller manageable 

tasks. 

Practice Coping Skills Before They Need Them 

Coping skills are much easier to use when children have practiced them ahead of 

time. Families can practice some skills when the child is calm rather than waiting 

until they are already upset. Deep breathing, taking a short break, drawing, 

listening to music, moving around, or talking with someone they trust are all 

options. Different strategies work for different children, so it can be helpful to try 

a few and see what your child prefers. I also encourage parents to help children 

notice how anxiety feels in their bodies. They may notice a stomachache, fast 

heartbeat, sweaty hands, headache, or feeling restless. Helping children 

recognize these signs gives them an opportunity to use a coping skill before their 

anxiety becomes too overwhelming. 

Let Them Feel Nervous 

One of the most important things we can do is allow children to have their 

feelings. We don't have to make every worried feeling go away. Instead, we can 

help children learn that being nervous doesn't mean they can't do something. You 

might say, "I understand why you're nervous. Starting a new school year can feel 

hard. You can be nervous and still get through it." This lets children know that 

their feelings are okay while also reminding them that they are capable. 

Keep Things Calm and Consistent 

Children often notice how the adults around them respond to change. If the 

adults are very worried about school starting, they may pick up on that worry. Try 

to keep conversations about school calm and positive. At the same time, don't feel 

like you have to pretend everything will be perfect. It is okay to acknowledge that 

there may be difficult days while reminding your child that they will have people 

there to help them. Every child adjusts to school at a different pace. Some 

children walk through the doors on the first day without a second thought. Others 

need more time, reassurance, and support. If your child's anxiety begins to 

interfere with sleep, school attendance, friendships, family life, or everyday 

activities, consider reaching out for additional support. 

As a counselor, I have seen how much a little preparation can help. A consistent 

routine, open conversations, and a few coping strategies can give children a 

stronger start to the school year. The goal isn't to make sure children never feel 

nervous. It's to help them learn that they can feel nervous and still be okay. 

Tiffany Bolduc, MA MEd